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So I'm creating this affirmation card yesterday and it said something about joy and I wanted a picture to go on it. So I clicked on Clipart by Microsoft and typed in joy. I also did the same at one of the stock photo websites.
Can you guess what comes up?
Kids, babies, and various abstracts.
My thoughts were, "Aren't adults joyful?" Why weren't there any pictures of adults? Ok, there were a few, but they had kids/babies in the pics with them.
Do we just lose it as the years grow on us? Do we forget how to be joyful? Do we forget what it even feels like and therefore don't work to create it? Does life just get too tough? I don't know.
I see people and hear stories all the time about people who are joyful despite their circumstances. I know they are not the majority, but what makes them different? I think joyfulness - or any other emotion for that matter - is a choice. We all choose how we respond to situations. What if we responded with joy? What if we do what my 9 year old calls Flip It? And take whatever statement, circumstance, or feeling, and turn it around to see the positive?
I'm not saying you should ignore or suppress what are labeled as negative emotions. Definitely acknowledge them. Then Flip It. What good can you see? What positive came out of the situation? Or fill in the blank that Andie always starts, "At least ___________________________." (This is the girl who says things like, "I'm thankful I came in last in my race, because at least that means I can run.)
What can you do today to create joy in your life?
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Posted by The Family Matters Organizer at
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Have you ever had one of those Duh! Hit yourself in t he forehead parenting moments? Like what was I thinking... or not thinking?
My 2 youngest kids have had a cold for 10 days. I keep thinking why do they have this so long? Why can't they shake it? They've dropped their high fevers, but are still running low grade ones, still coughing and snotty and lethargic. So what's up?
Then this morning it hits me - an infection! One is complaining about headaches in the sinus area and the other about her ear hurting. My kids have a tendency to get them, especially after having a virus over a week. Duh! Why didn't I think of this before? Then of course the bad parent guilt kicks in and starts gabbing in my head about the poor kids, how awful they've felt, how neglectful I've been, how I shoulda, coulda, woulda, right? Was I just too busy during the holidays or did I jusr turn mu head and decide not to notice (subconsciously)?
Whatever the reason, I'm paying for it now. It's a Saturday and I've already been in the Urgent Care waiting room for 1 1/2 hours as I write this. There's still a few people ahead of me. I figure since the pediatrician isn't open until Wednesday (New Year's holiday this week), I'll be waiting no matter what day I come in. Might as well suffer now especially since I only have 2 kids with me.
I remember a time when my 2 oldest kids were toddler-preschoolers and I'd get so frustrated with the books all over the place. They were constantly taking them off the book shelf and not replacing them. Then it hit me - a bin! Let's forgo the shelves until the kids are older - the books can just get thrown in the bin. The kids liked it better that way, they could clean up after themselves, and I didn't get stressed at the mess.
Anyone want to share their Duh! parenting moments?
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Posted by The Family Matters Organizer at
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"Danielle
keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to
this animal shelter at least five times. It has been
weeks now since
we started
all of this," the mother told the volunteer.
"What is
it she keeps asking for?" the volunteer asked.
"Puppy
size!" replied the mother.
"Well,
we have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for."
"I
know...we have seen most of them," the Mom said in frustration... Just then
Danielle came walking into the office.
"Well,
did you find one?" asked her Mom. "No, not this time,
Danielle said
with sadness in her voice. "Can we come back on the weekend?"
"You
never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there's always a supply," the volunteer said.
Danielle took
her mother by the hand and headed to the door. "Don't worry, I'll find one this weekend," she said.
Over the next
few days, both Mom and Dad had long conversations with her.
They both
felt she was being too particular.
"It's
this weekend or we're not looking any more," Dad finally said
in
frustration.
"We
don't want to hear anything more about puppy size either," Mom added.
Sure enough,
they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning. By now Danielle knew her way around, so she
ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs. Tired of the
routine, Mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row
of cages.
There was an
observation window so you could see the animals during
times when visitors weren't permitted. Danielle
walked slowly from
cage to cage,
kneeling periodically to take a closer look. One by one
the dogs were
brought out and she held each one. One by one she said, "Sorry, you're not the one." It was the
last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup.
The volunteer
opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up
the dog and
held it closely. This time she took a little longer.
"Mom,
that's it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!"
she screamed
with joy. "It's the puppy size!"
"But
it's the same size as all the other puppies you held over the
last few
weeks," Mom said.
"No not
size ---- the sighs. When I held him in my arms, he sighed,
she said.
"Don't
you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told
me love
depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the
bigger the
sigh!"
The two women
looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug
the child, she did a little of both.
"Mom,
every time you hold me, I sigh. When you and Daddy come home
from work and
hug each other, you both sigh. I knew I would find the
right puppy
if it sighed when I held it in my arms," she said. Then
holding the
puppy up close to her face she said, "Mom, he loves me. I
heard the sighs
of his heart!"
Close your
eyes for a moment and think about the love that makes you sigh. I not only find it in the arms of my loved
ones, but in the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight and
the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day. They are the sighs of God.
Take the time to
stop and
listen; you will be surprised at what you hear. "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments
that take our breath.
-- Author
Unknown
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Posted by The Family Matters Organizer at
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You ever hear a song or smell a scent and it puts you back into a different time and place?
Like I can hear this one song by Blackhawk and it's 13 years ago and I'm driving the first new I car I ever purchased - a '92 Saturn SLT - cranking the tunes with the windows down, the wind blowing through my hair, in my scrubs coming home from work one summer day thinking about my then boyfriend and how fortunate I was. Every time I hear that song, I transported.
Or this one scent, I'm not really sure how to describe it, but it's a bakery, hot, sweaty smell - not offensive, but not pleasant either - and I'm about 9 years old going down the hallway of my great-grandma's apartment building with my mom and 3 siblings to take Grandma home after taking her out to lunch.
I have many examples of this and I'm trying to now jot them in my journal as they happen. So many times our memories stay in our heads and eventually we forget or others never get to enjoy them. I know my kids love to hear about my memories as a kid. When they ask for them I'm usually at a loss, but now I've been at least able to them them of certain memories as they are triggered by a scent or smell.
Pay attention, get lost in the (past) moment. Remember When...
Check out this interesting article on the links in the unconscious from smells.
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Posted by The Family Matters Organizer at
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As reported on Yahoo! from the Associated Press:
Woman allegedly stabs husband over gift
Fri Dec 21, 11:07 PM ET
ROCK SPRINGS, Wyo.
A woman stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife following an argument that began when she accused him of opening a Christmas present early, authorities said Friday. Misty Johnson, 34, was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and battery, a felony, and misdemeanor domestic battery.
Her husband, Shawn Fay Johnson, 34, was treated at a hospital for a wound to the chest, police said.
Misty Johnson made an initial court appearance Thursday in which she requested a court-appointed attorney, authorities said. She was released after posting bail, which was set at $7,500.
There was no telephone listing for her in Rock Springs.
Authorities said Shawn Johnson called 911 just before 1 a.m. Wednesday to report that his wife had stabbed him.
He told police that his wife started arguing with him over his opening a Christmas present, according to court records.
As the argument escalated, Misty Johnson accused her husband of having an affair, authorities said. Police found a marriage license in the couple's apartment stating they were married in late September.
Police Detective David Thompson said he didn't know what the present was, or if it was intended for the husband.
Wow! Talk about needed to re-prioritize the important things in life! Wonder what her core values are?
Can we say mood-altering substance??
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Posted by The Family Matters Organizer at
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I recently read the book below and thought I'd share a review I wrote for it for another site:
Finding Flow, The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life
by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Finding Flow is a great read for those of you looking to better understand how to accept
and enjoy your life and learn how to create the perception needed to do so.
Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced "chick-SENT-me-high") combines his years of psychological
study with his ability to teach others what he's found into an easy to understand
self-help book. He shows the correlation between the choices we make and the quality of
our lives.
Csikszentmihalyi paints the background by briefly explaining the history around a given
subject, then gives you solid, concrete knowledge of past studies and statistics (with
tables and diagrams embedded within the pages.) He then explains how to apply his
knowledge and findings to your life with simple examples one can relate to.
The book starts out by giving us a context for how we perceive and feel things. What
does it mean to live your life and how does this depend on your social status,
sex, age, etc.? Then what is it that we do with our free time? How we spend our free
time and who we spend it with largely defines our everyday life. There are three main
functions - production, maintenance, and leisure - that absorb our psychic energy. These
functions are what provides the information that goes through our minds day after day,
and within these parameters our life unfolds - determining the sum of our days.
Basically, Csikszentmihalyi shows us that how we experience these functions is the
most important part of what our 'happiness' level is. Two people could have the same
job, same monotinous factory position and depending how each perceives and experiences
what they do, will determine the level of happiness in their lives.
Csikszentmihalyi does, however, steer clear of the word happiness. His word is flow. He
defines flow as being "in the zone", it's the effortless action one feels in the moments
that stand out as the best in their lives. He says flow tends to occur when a person
faces a clear set of goals that require appropriate responses,the activites involved
provide immediate feedback, and a person's skills are matched to the challenges faced.
Therefore the full involvement of flow, rather than happiness, is what makes for
excellence in life.
One of my favorite chapters was The Paradox of Work. Csikszentmihalyi talks about the
ambiguity we feel; we know work is one of the most important elements of our lives, yet
while we do it, we'd rather not be doing it. The history of work and various living
conditions related to work are gone into in detail, showing how modern age technology
influences our work, attitudes toward it, and hours we spend doing it. There is also
some interesting information regarding the differences between men and women and work.
In the chapter, Relationships and the Quality of Life, gender differences are again
discussed. One I thought that was very interesting was that the moods of the father
affect the rest of the family, the moods of the children affect the mother, and the moods
of the mother rarely affect anyone else. How we relate with others and our families
again determines our excellence in life. Csikszentmihalyi also hits on how community
involvement affects relationships in general and our lives as a whole.
The choices we make, the way we choose to perceive given situations, and how we choose to
react to them are key elements of living that life of excellence. One chooses and wills
one's fate. We need to experience activities for the activity themselves, not the end
result. Love what you do just for the sake of doing it.
How does one change the patterns already established in their lives to get that life of
excellence? Read the book and get some concrete steps to changing your life into the one
you want, filled with flow and excellence! |
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Posted by The Family Matters Organizer at
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"Faith is seeing the invisible, believing the incredible, and receiving the impossible." ~ unknown
I think of Santa...
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Posted by The Family Matters Organizer at
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The information below was found on the National Geographic website, The Green Guide. It has some great information on plastics; recycling, buying, and harmful effects. Check it out!
Tips and Alternatives
Here are a few suggestions you can follow to reduce plastics and toxic exposure
in your home:
• Avoid single-use, disposable packaging
• Buy food in glass or metal containers
• Avoid heating food in plastic containers
• Avoid storing fatty foods, such as meat and cheese, in plastic containers
or plastic wrap
• Bring your own containers to salad bars, yogurt shops, etc.--anywhere
you'll be served in plastic
• Avoid plastic cutlery and dinnerware, especially when cooking or heating
food; use stainless steel or wooden utensils and look for recycled paper products.
• Use wood instead of plastic cutting boards and spray your wooden board
with a mist of vinegar, then with a mix of hydrogen peroxide, to kill bacteria
• When purchasing cling-wrapped food from the supermarket or deli, slice
off a thin layer where the food came into contact with the plastic and store
the rest in a glass or ceramic container, or non-PVC cling wrap (see Shopping
Suggestions)
• You can also write a letter to manufacturers of food and drink packaged
in plastics, indicating your concern about plastics--especially if their packaging
is #3, #6 or #7. Tell them you are actively seeking products packaged in safe,
reusable glass, metal and recycled paper. Ask manufacturers for a mailing address
by calling their toll-free question/comment line, usually listed on the back
of the product; alternatively, you can find their mailing address on their website.
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Posted by The Family Matters Organizer at
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I'm at Wal-mart tonight purchasing gifts for the family we adopted for Christmas. It's fairly late, got all 4 kids right from swimming lessons, and they're pretty tired. The gifts are due tomorrow, so we've got to do this and I want all of them to have the experience.
I'm a little cranky and short on patience as well - especially after every one of them had to use the bathroom - on separate occasions! I'm thinking they are too loud, too much in people's way, too whiny, etc.
So I'm searching for a specific Oil of Olay product and I tell the kids they can each pick out a Chapstick for themselves (which was a big deal, because they knew going in there was to be nothing bought for them). I leave them in a row and go a couple rows down. There's a Wal-mart associate re-stocking shelves around the area who occasionally glances at the kids. I think, "Oh, sure, she probably thinks they are going to steal something."
I come back Oil of Olay in hand, they've picked out their Lip Smackers and we head to another department.
Later as the kids were putting coins in the coin-drop deal where they swirl around and around, the same associate is apparently done with her shift and heading home. She stops me. "Oh, great" I think, "she wants to check their pockets or something."
She tells me how well-behaved and well-mannered my children are. That I should be so proud of them, that she rarely sees children so well-behaved in the store, especially in groups of 4! She said they were chatting amongst themselves about the various Chapsticks, looking at costs, flavors, and multi-packs. They would take an item off the shelf or hanger, look at it, then neatly put it back. She said Corey was even re-arranging the ones he found that were not in the correct place!
Guess as parents we forget our children are children and aren't perfect. I know my kids are good, but I always want them to be a little bit better. Guess I should lighten up a bit - in other's eyes they aren't so bad after all... 
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Posted by The Family Matters Organizer at
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Here is an article from yesterday's Minneapolis Star Tribune:
It's Green Thursday today at the Mall of America, kicking off a
three-day free electronics recycling event billed as the largest ever
undertaken in the United States.Trucks will be on hand to accept
everything from toasters and TVs to cell phones and computer monitors.
The organizers say 100 percent of the items will be recycled. The
Environmental Protection Agency says electronics recycling is critical
because of hazardous materials in many components such as televisions
and monitors. The agency estimates there are as many as 250 million
aging computers that could enter the U.S. waste stream during the next
five years. Electronics recycler Materials Processing Corp. of Eagan has teamed up with the Mall of America for the event. Hours: 6 a.m.-7 p.m. today and Friday and 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturday. Where: The Mall of America's Met Lot, located just north of the Mall near Ikea. Cost: Free. Consumers may drop off electronic items for no charge and can also get discounts at the mall.
I received a head's up about this from a Professional Organizer friend of mine. I got really excited - wow! What a great event. I need to tell all my clients, I need to take my own stuff out there! I immediately thought all these things.
Then I went to download the story and came across this video of a news reporter who actually did bring some items to recycle. The narrating is actually very funny, but what he says is very serious - it was a nightmare of a line to drop off. People waiting for hours in their cars. So how about those fuel emissions? How about the waste of a natural resource - and money buying that gas? How about the waste of time?
I guess when an event is held like this the organizers need to weigh the cost of one environmental damage to another. If you read the comments after the video, people have all sorts of other good ideas for recycling your electronics. Some you may have to pay a fee, but either pay it directly or pay it in gas and time is what I say.
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Posted by The Family Matters Organizer at
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